Couch Surfing

Ever feel like you don't really know what to think about something or how you should feel? I don't really quite know where I'm going with that question which is part of the reason for my frustration with the fact that I haven't felt like myself lately. I'm still trying to put my finger on it and with the help of a friend I think I was able to see the problem...at least for the most part. He said something that was eye opening for me, but I'm still struggling to take what he said into complete action. I don't know why exactly...but what I do know is I can't do it alone. I need to trust in God more then I am now. I need his help in changing my perspective about myself. Comparatively, I have a fairly healthy perspective, but it could be a lot better. This has turned out to be a far bigger challenge then I thought it would be. It's not that I don't love myself or don't think that I'm pretty or smart. I'm fine, for the most part, in those departments. But it's the constant self criticism, the doubt in myself and my abilities, feeling undeserving and upset when something goes wrong in my life because I feel like I should be able to have more control. I don't know if I am making any sense, but all I know is that this perspective of mine is holding me back from doing a lot of great and wonderful things and I need to fix it. Or excuse me...I need to let Heavenly Father fix it because I can't. Plain and simple. I don't have what it takes and I need to learn to be ok with that. And that is a challenge for me in itself. A challenge I didn't realize affected me as deeply as it does until recently. It's not fun, but at the same time it's great because it means that I'm growing in truth and righteousness.