Hallelujuah!! My body has healed itself!! Thank goodness! Bad sicky; bad! Thanks to those who took a moment to think of me with a call or a visit. I appreciated it very very much. Especially on Friday night when I couldn't go out. You were an answer to a prayer from a lonely girl.
Now it's a new week and I feel better then I have for the last few weeks. And I mean that in the emotional and spirtual sense. But of course as I just explained in the previous paragraph...I'm feeling better physically as well. :-) While I was sick and at home nursing a sick tummy I was able to take the time to clear my mind. Too many things were competing for my attention and it was overwhelming me. I wasn't quite sure how to compartmentalize it all so it left me feeling almost paralyzed. Ever feel that way...I hate it. It's as though you feel like you're losing control of your emotions when you're really not. It freaked me out. There is so much to be doing and when I say soo much I mean a part from all of the daily tasks of work, school, and the constant nagging pressure of finances. There is so much of the Lord's work to be done. When does one find all of the time to do all that the Lord requires of them? I feel as though the Lord requires A LOT from me. Please don't take that as me complaining because I truly want to fullfill all of the tasks He has set out for me to do. He trusts me with them and I don't want to let Him down. My next step is for me to put President Uchtdorf's words into heart in regards to his conference talk titled, "Good, Better, Best" I'm trying to figure out what is the Best thing for me to me doing with my free time at this time.
I'm not speaking in generalized terms either. I'm talking about very specific gospel oriented things. To paint a better picture for you; this is how my life is currently:
M-F: Work 8-5
Get up every week day 6:30-7 Am
Monday activites: FHE 7-8:30//Yoga 9:30-10:30//get ready for bed, study scriptures & pray from 11-12. (time open 6-7)
Tuesday activites: Dance rehearsal 7:30-9:30//Usually visit or talk with a friend 10-11// Get ready for bed 11-12 (time open 6-7)
Wednesday activities: Dance rehearsal 6-9:30//Take care of any chores that need to be done 10-11//Get ready for bed 11-12. (No time open)
Thursday activities: Completely FREE of regularly set commitments.
Friday activities: Dance Rehearsal 6-7//Occasional Church activity that I always attend.
Saturday's are generally open, but there is always some sort of Church activity, service project or Temple trip to attend.
Sunday's: Church 11-3 other activites vary each sunday...there are firesides, meetings, break the fast, Sunday dinners, study sessions, all sorts of things going on.
Let me just say again that I am not complaining about my life and the things I need to get done. I honestly love love being busy. Of course sometime in between during my free moments I need to find time to visit teach, visit less active members, go out with the missionaries, meet regularly with the Bishop, practice the piano or practice for other things, be a good friend & reach out to people, repair my family, prepare for a mission/marriage all in all while trying to date. *Whew* I know I am not the only one in this boat. There are a lot of people I know who live in a "Time-Crunch" all the time. I have outlined my daily tasks to help myself gain a clearer perspective of my time management, what I am using my time for and to see if I am really using it wisely.
There are many things that I feel I need to be doing, but I feel as thought it is close to impossible to dedicate all of my time to these Heavenly Tasks in a way that would be pleasing to the Lord.
Of course a man should not run faster then he has strength and I understand that more then it may appear that I do...I'm just trying to figure out where Heavenly Father would have me focus my energy now. Where does He need me to be and how does He need me to do it. I trust that with prayer and the companionship of the Holy Ghost I will find the guidance I am looking for. I just pray that I won't allow myself to feel as paralyzed as I have. If I could dedicate all of my time to building up the kingdom and work and finances weren't an issue I would in a heart beat. I imagine that there will be a time when that will be possible and I can't wait. In the meantime...I hope that I am pleasing the Lord with the work I am doing now even though I know I could be doing more.
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